Allen Demotivational Poster
RARE VIEW - A rarely seen picture of the inside of an actual Can-o-Whoopass
THE PUBIC HARE - one of the few animals not hunted for it's skin.
AIRBORNE - Put your knees in the breeze!
ALLAH-U-SNACKBAR! - Get the Special Kebab Combo with Felafel and a soda for just 5 dinar!
DISASTERS - They're not cheap!
FUNNY FACE - If you can't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a whole lot longer than you like.
WATER POLO - It's been described as the "Underwater Ballet" of sports... doesn't that make it MORE gay?
OFFENSIVE? NO! JUST A PHILOSOPHIC DEBATING POINT -
FUNNY FAKTS -
AIRBORNE SCHOOL - Week 1: Separates the men from the boys Week 2: Separates the men from the fools Week 3: The fools jump!
MY EX-WIFE -
2AM DICTION -
MEMORIAL DAY -
HORROR MOVIE HEROES -
IF YOU'RE OCD -
THE KITTY POOL -
SAY THERE TOM -
GET OFF THE DAMN BED -
OH, GIMME THE BEAT BOYS -
DEAR LIFE - when I said "can my day get any worse?" it was rhetorical question not a challenge.
JEDI RIDER -
WHEN I DIE -
AUSTRALIA - A land such as this requires a unique type of person and a more unique sense of humour to call it HOME.
WHEN HUNGER STRIKES -
FEELING INADEQUATE? -
ROOSTER COGBURN -
THIS EVIL ANIMAL -
TO LOVE IS TO SUFFER -
BAD, BAD CLOWNS -
INAPPROPRIATE GIFTS - Sure it would be rude not to say "Thanks" But how DO you respond to Uncle Steve's comment, "I made it from a cast of my own hands"?
CRIMSON WAVE - You'll know long before she breaks out the board that the red tide is coming in!
RECRUITING - I find your lack of faith in the effectiveness of baked goods disturbing
CRAZY CHALLENGE -
SLOTH BEAR - The ultimate foe.
THE FRENCH - It's not always bad when they surrender.
PERVERT - Stop staring at my udders!
Freedom of speech -
GRAMMAR NAZI -
ROBOT JESUS - He will reboot for your sins...It might take a few days, though. His software is ANCIENT!
Denny Crane and Allan Shore -
ARGUMENT SETTLED - Greedo WHO? Chewbacca shot first.
RELIABILITY - Even the Empire had material problems... stupid "Lowest Bidder" contracting rules!
DUMB BLONDES - They're not ALL women!
25 YEARS -
GOOD VS EVIL - Are you ready for some Star Wars? All my Wookie friends are comin' over toniiiiiight!!!
PERSEVERANCE - Don't cry next time you can't find your running headband
I'M DEAD SEXY! -
ANY REGRETS? -
2009 WAS SO AWESOME -
9/11 - 35 Years ago today Salvador Allende died in a coup d'etat. He was replaced by Augusto Pinochet. (The $10 million Nixon invested paid off that day)
QUIT SMOKING? -
SOME THINGS -
THE KISS -
GIRLS GONE WILD -
REALIST - I'm gonna need a MUCH longer tongue.
LEGO ICE - After it melts you'll pee bricks!
HAIKUS - Haikus are poetry. Sure. And Quantum Mechanics is math too.
PIRATE OR NINJA? - The Six Degrees of Separation Game works every time. But does this make Kevin Bacon a Pirate Ninja?
DANCING - Her movements weren't natural... they were ungainly and awkward, almost wooden...
SEXIST - Superheroes: They can easily defeat threats to world domination, yet still fail so miserably at "Sensitivity Training"
NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER! - The only DECENT thing Tim Allen ever said!
SUCCESS DOESN'T JUST HAPPEN! -
THINK TWICE - Remember: "Friending" Mom and Dad on MySpace means they can see your pictures... ALL of your pictures.
CREATIVE WRITING -
STALKER - He just doesn't seem to understand... that Protective Order was NOT her way of playing "hard to get"
FIREPOWER - For every action there will be an immediate and overwhelmingly superior reaction
NIGHT ELVES -
IN COMMUNIST CHINA - Your nose is wiped for you!
CULTURAL DIFFERENCE -
FAILURE - Don't look for it here! Everything in this pic is PURE WIN!
MUAY THAI WOMEN -
YOUR SINS - Jesus' eternal healthcare plan covers everything - even those problems you were born with!
FAMOUS QUOTES - A true friend will stab you in the front - Oscar Wilde
MEMORIAL DAY - The dead soldier's silence sings our national anthem. -Aaron Kilbourn
ARM WRESTLE? - Be careful...he may look cute but don't underestimate him!
GOOD JOB! - When making that last point deserves more than just a pat on the ass
MACARONI PENGUINS - The RuPaul of the penguin world
ENDURANCE - Sometimes, slow and steady does win the race
MUSIC OF THE 1990'S -
FORTUNE BURRITO -
OFFICE MORALE - Despite the Emperor's hopes, "Funny Hat Fridays" never did significantly improve morale on the Death Star
MILK JUGS - Easier than carrying it on top of your head!
A MOTIFAKE SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT -
HORROR MOVIES -
JOHN WAYNE -
CARNIE BOB -
JESUS - He wasn't just hung from a cross!
BABY PICTURES - Optimus Prime's Mom always liked to drag this one out to show his dates
VILLIANESS - Come on, who wouldn't want to work with "forces of evil" like these? I wonder if we could carpool?
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